I spent all night with XW..........on the phone

[AJM]

Hi Tad. Glad things are changing. Or not. But you are and that's good to hear. Your balance is way better than it used to be, that's for sure.

Can I point something out? Long ago I pointed to her coming back at some point. She likely will try Tad. I don't recommend you let her but rather wait and see how things go for a very long time if that really does happen. I say that it will based on some of what I see, and I think (personally) she wants to control. She is derailing you for her own benefit. That is not healthy Tad.

What is not healthy is that you are still trying to fix you and you are getting dragged down. Why? I think she wants to control you. I think she is not happy and doesn't want you to be until she gets her sh** together.

It comes to this. If she wants in, she will have to overtly try. But she will try to keep the connection while she decides if she wants to or not. She will try to push your buttons to get a reaction and that will tear you apart and prevent you from becoming healthy. Don't allow that. It's a boundary you need to learn to set witih anyone.

She told you she knows how you feel. You have made that clear. Don't say it again Tad. No matter what, Ok?

She told you many confusing things. She is pushing buttons. Keep your conversations short and to the point and let it go as the ramblings of a mad woman. I see much of that in that conversation and it's not that I'm suspicious, but rather have been there and done that. I didn't listen at the time (wasn't ready) and it set me back a long way.

Don't make that mistake. Keep your distance and stay away. She asked for you to let her go. She is a mad woman. Let her go and be mad and figure things out on her own. You do the same for you and deal with things as they happen.

Be you Tad. Let others be themselves and put a lot of time and distance between you and the ex. What you do or whom you do it with is now your business alone. Keep it that way.

AJ