Living with groundlessness

[AntoniaB]

Well I actually met someone last night when I went out and he asked for my phone number--but not for romantic reasons, I don't think ;-)

I was talking to the female bartender who I am getting to know and I think forming a friendship with, and this guy came in--good looking, clean cut, little bit older than me, no ring, sort of a midwestern twang in the voice, said hello. Eventually he started talking to me and the bartender and then at some point I think I asked where he was from and he said he just moved back here to live with his parents as he lost his job after he lost his son in the divorce, and he just started to tear up. Well for 2 hours we talked and he was really edgy, and just clearly needed to get a lot out, and he's on meds, and seeing a doctor, and feels that he had a nervous breakdown when he lost his job (he is in finance and division of his company went under) and he was really a wreck, dealing with a lot of suicidal thoughts, estranged from his 6 year old, ashamed to be living with his parents and his father isn't helping as a former Vietnam vet who I guess lacks patience for mental illness.

So anyway I tried to just be encouraging and helpful...the guy seems to have little support system or if he does, he hasn't gotten over embarrassment enough to reach out to them.

But then he asked for my number, I'm not sure why, he definitely wasn't looking for a relationship and said that that sort of thing was "number 50 on the priority list", so I feel like he was a gentleman. I just felt sorry for him. I could see so much of me in his eyes, even though our sitches are somewhat different. I mean, you KNOW that if the person doesn't escape to drugs or alcohol or whatever and works on themself, they WILL be better in a year. But talking to someone in the inital few weeks, wow, they are just shell-shocked. Nothing registers much.