Other than going dark and working on myself, what other things can I do to help on the long road of restoring the r.
IMHO, I don't think you should go dark. It's extremely hard when there are children involved and the LBH usually just comes across as a cold jerk to the WAW. In some cases, going dark is effective, but I think in your cases you just need to pull back from your W. That includes no initial contacting/communication with her. If she contacts you, remember the KISS rule of thumb.....Keep it Simple & Short.
With the holidays around the corner, I think you'll have plenty of opportunities to show off these 180's:
Act "as if" you are moving on with your life with or without her and that you are going to be okay. Keep a good attitude. This is not as easy as it sounds. This is work!
Be cheerful, strong, outgoing and attractive at all times! In other words, be the best you can be and look the best you can look at all times. Even when wearing jeans and T-shirt, wear good cologne....and a new scent. It does affect the female more than you may know, and it can cause her to take notice and may wonder. That's a little part of being mysterious.
Don't sit around thinking about her – get busy with living life. Think of things to do. Your community should have plenty to offer this time of year. Great time to meet new friends or discover something new and interesting.
When the children are a young age, there is usually some "sight" made between the WAW & LBH when the kids are exchanged, and especially throughout the holidays. Since your kids are older, do you have any idea how this will work? Will they come & go whenever they want? S17 probably has driving license, right?
No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show her happiness and contentment. This may confuse her b/c it is not what she expected. Show her the man she would want to be around all the time, somebody that can be attractive and fun to be with. That somebody is you! Don't overkill to the point of looking like your attempts are "fake" b/c she will see through all of that. That's one reason for keeping the any contacts short.
Now I'm not suggesting that you use your children, but as a woman I can tell you that our kids having a great R with their father can be very positive to us. Just as long as she doesn't feel that you are trying to be the "Santa Claus" parent. You know what that is, right? Focus on making a close R with them, no matter what happens with the M. Don't ask them questions about your W. Trust me on this one. When your W begins to have a spark of interest due to your changes already stated, she'll casually ask the D if you ever ask about her. When the D says, "no".......ha! You've just increased that level of interest 150%. Then your W will get more curious about your life. Her focus will be more on you than her original ideas of why she wasn't happy with you.
Time to stop being (or behaving) like an old, boring, married man!
What are the plans for Thanksgiving?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Then your W will get more curious about your life. Her focus will be more on you than her original ideas of why she wasn't happy with you. 
