Never thought I would be the one to file

[tryingtilDorR]

paige - I have some first hand experience in this scenario. My W was a WAW and was having an (at least emotional) affair. She declared M over and that she was just there for the kids, etc. this went on for about 18 months until she moved out.

I was where you are - I wanted desperately to do anything I could to save the M and keep our family together. The impact on my 4 kids was a huge concern and I was so angry at how selfish she was acting, etc etc.

In the end she moved out (in her mind 'temporarily' I think) and I FILED in response, even though I truly believed in my marriage vows and would have never dreamed I would do such a thing. However, I took comfort in the fact that I thought I did everything I could and that God permits divorce when betrayal/affairs occur.

25years is right. Filing doesn't cause D. It was headed there anyway. In my case it is ultimately what gave me a chance to save my M it turns out! I never expected that, but everything else I tried doing before that wasn't working.

By the time I filed I was ready to move on but still loved my wife. I didn't file for manipulative reasons - I did it to protect myself financially/legally. At one point nearly a year later she wanted to COME BACK and 'forget the whole thing' meaning the D, her affair, etc. I was floored, but realized I had received advice that this would likely occur and it really happened.

by that time I had moved on and was not interested. However, it was the scenario I would have done ANYTHING to have for the longest time.

So, filing for D won't cause a divorce, but it might be the only hope of saving your marriage ironically.

Also, don't mess around and make sure you retain that L and have them immediately file a temporary support order for child support AND alimiony. It can be done immediately and a hearing scheduled and even if he doesn't pay, it will start piling up a debt to you and if you do D and have to do a final settlement creates great bargaining power for you (and a more favorable settlement ultimately since he will owe you back support).