I hope so, dbmod...I hope so. Because I'm really pissed today with her.
UPDATE 6:15pm She texts me from her work to tell me she'll be running late. Then she arrives to pick our son up, and I update her that I've booked me and our son's flight to DFW for the week of Thanksgiving. I told her I'll forward her the flight confirmation email tonight. She said ok.
And then I asked her if she would like to bring our son around my neighborhood to trick-or-treat.
M: Would you like to bring E to this area on Halloween for some trick-or-treating? W: Come here? M: Yes, around this neighborhood. W: Well actually, I already have plans to take E with me to my friend's and do trick-or-treating with Jack (their 3 year old).
(At this point I was honestly flabbergasted that she didn't talk about this with me).
M: What?... I would like E to enjoy Halloween with me too, you know. W: Isn't the church doing anything on Sunday night?
(I'm now double-flabbergasted at her plain presumptuous attitude).
M: No. They're not. They canceled it this year. W: Well, I'm sure people will be giving out candy at 5pm here.
(OMG, what the crap?!?)
M: Okaaay then.
(I just looked away from her and focused on our son, said goodbye to him and closed his door).
Five minutes later, I've had enough and decided to text her the following:
"For future events involving E, can you remember to involve his father in the decision making before jumping the gun?"
I doubt she'll respond to that, but by not responding, it could be another thing that counts against her in a court case.
Tonight I've become more motivated to finish the financial disclosure forms and get my case moving along. It's not out of revenge, mind you. It's the knowledge that she flagrantly assumes/presumes that she will be taking our son away from me to the East Coast, that she thinks she has this case in the bag.
we get it...and I'd say the same thing. Infuriating.
But she's clueless. She's NOT doing it to hurt you...she's just in la la land where the lollipops come from, plus
she's too busy with her important work...
Yeah, take the night to calm down. MAYBE she'll tune into the reality channel called life.
Protect yourself and your son.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
Infuriating -- that's the word I'm looking for. Thanks 25! How are you?
UPDATE 7:08pm 10/27
My wife DID respond (via text)...
W: I was simply going by the schedule. W: If u constitute halloween as a major holiday u should let me know. Last time we talked only thanksgiving and xmas were brought up.
M: It's not a major holiday, and short while seeing and taking pictures of E running around with his cute costume trick-or-treating - it's not massive time from your schedule with him, right?
W: I already have plans. If u have a problem talk to your attorney. Not my job to look out for u and your interests.
M: This has nothing to do with me or you and it shouldn't be. E and I chose costumes (and he and you too, I'm sure) and all he talks about now is going out together getting candy. So I say this because E deserves to enjoy a simple day like this because he's been so hyped about it. I don't see any reason to half his anticipation and excitement. This is not what mutual parenting is all about.
(I wanted to add something like: We gotta give our little fan what he wants! It's not an unreasonable request, after all.)
UPDATE 1:45PM 10/30/11 Nothing more was said on Friday or Saturday about the Halloween/trick-or-treat discussion my wife and I have on Thursday. However...
On Sunday afternoon, my wife texts me: W: I meant to ask you do you want to keep him later so you can do trick or treating tonight.
M: (Responded about 2 hours later) Sadly I don't think anyone trick-or-treats until the 31st. So it would be nice, but you can pick E up at the usual time. Appreciate the suggestion though.
W: They did last night around here and they will tonight.
M: No harm trying to do that in this neighborhood then. Pick E up sometime before/at 7?
W: Ok
M: (At 7:02pm, after our son and my wife left) Thanks again for the late evening with E. He had quite a lot of fun.
So despite an early outing, our son was able to visit a total of 4 homes (as a police officer, mind you) and came back with an almost full bucket. Not bad at all! I wish I had our son here for REAL Halloween (with mom, if she'd like to come), but alas...
UPDATE Just having a lousy day today, more specifically work. I feel like I'm not jiving and excelling as well as I should. I think I know why, but I don't want to make excuses for myself. This Alamo doesn't give in without a fight.
UPDATE I've been personally feeling very BLAH lately. Each time I sit down to fill out the legal financial paperwork, my stomach begins to churn. Each time I see our son leave and my wife fronting an act as cold as an Antarctic blizzard, my heart sink.
And with Thanksgiving, my birthday, my wife's birthday a couple of days after mine, Xmas, then pushing to divorce my wife (which I REALLY don't want to do, but have to)...this is a very hard time.
(On the plus side, at least my porn addiction is still under good control. Usually it flares up under duress, but I've been able to preoccupy myself with more productive and respectable hobbies.)
Hang in there Alamo. I'm feeling some of the same with the holidays coming up. Glad to hear about your progress with your addiction, that is fantastic!
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK
UPDATE 11/4/11 I know it's belated, but strangest thing happened on this day.
On this day, a group of students and faculty (from my wife's and my alma mater) were involved in a very serious bus accident where most of them were serious injured and one died on the spot.
What was strange was how I found out.
At 8:40pm my wife called me, but I missed it. Then she texted me at 8:42pm to ask if I knew about ACU. I responded to tell her that I didn't. After I read up on the news, I texted her saying that it was sad and asked if she knows anyone involved. She did not respond until the next day.
Now, why would the news be important enough for her to call me?
Why would she follow up with a text?
I mean, she hasn't been this engaging since, well, more than a year ago. I also think she caught herself being so "communicative" by not responding to my text until the next day with a simple "No."
UPDATE 11/14/11 6:15pm Picked our son from daycare and was informed that he did not nap (because he wanted to "see daddy") and that my wife had also informed our provider that our son had a long night last night.
Now our son gets a little kooky when he's tired, never fusses or throws tantrums. So while he was with me, he was absolutely great, even until mom came to pick him up.
He did fidget and gave her a little fuss when she put him in his car seat, so off-handedly I mentioned that he didn't get a nap at school today.
She retorted by saying that that's all right, he's outgrown naps.
What? When did she decide this?
I know children our son's age (3) need around 11-13 hours of sleep per 24-hour period, and I know that even that is not a fixed rule; depends on the day and the child. I also know that some parents allow their children to drop naps as early as 3, but in this circumstance our son slept late last night and had no nap today, so that should be taken into account, shouldn't it?