Home after a long day. Somewhat dreading tomorrow as I'm certain X will bring OW to son's kick off dinner. I've been thinking a bit lately about how very confused I am about my feelings regarding X. On the one hand, I am so disgusted and angered by his behaviors - especially with regards to OW. On the other hand, I so deeply wish for our family unit to be together. We do not co-parent so we really have no reason to interact. But I keep thinking of him in terms of how he "used to be" - and that is not who he is today.
As I look back through the archives of this site - I really believe the most profound and damaging trait exhibited by X is the "rewriting" of history. I am not making this up - we were a REALLY good couple. Friends, partners, lovers - we laughed together, supported each other. I just don't see how that disappears.
Oh well...just thinking.
M-48/XH-48 M=25/T=28 years Ds-24,22/S-18 D - 3/11 A Day at a Time
