Funny how she told me a couple of weeks ago that she is now getting wound up by petty things which I no longer am!
Same here! Weird, huh?
I don't know very much about skype. Okay, you've got me... I know nothing. But, I think that the more you see her on skype.....it will be the same as if you had made contact with her. Only difference is this way is kind of sneaky, isn't it?
You still have the emotional fall out to deal with, and you will continue to be distracted by those thoughts of her as long as you continue this same action. One of the first things Michele teaches is to pull back from the WAS. Don't be so available. That advice is for your sake.
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Just had a text message from her telling me the missing cat has not turned up. Enquiry about the others. One kiss at the end. I left it 30 mins and replied "That's sad, Yes, the others are fine. No kiss.
I promise that she will increase the pursuing. Like I said, just be prepared when she throws herself at you. You will have to pretend you are being strong and level headed when that happens. You don't want to bruise her ego too much. So, be thinking what you'll say. I just have a gut feeling it won't be long now.
This is where guys mess up so many times. But since I've warned you......that's not gonna happen with you, right? When she's coming on to you .....crying.....laughing.....teasing.....whatever, you can politely remove her arms (or whatever body parts she has wrapped around you) and tell her that you think it's best not to carry things any farther.
You see, she needs to really work at getting you back (instead of the other way around) or she'll never stay. She has to keep on working to convince you she's serious and really, REALLY wants to be M to you. Believe me, if she can have you in one little "attempt".....then that'll be waaaaay too easy and she'll quickly (like 24 hrs quickly) lose her attraction for you, again. Just like in high school sweetie, you've got to play hard to get!
Got plans today? Something that might get you "distracted" from see a TM from her? Hummmm.......thinking. Wait a while, then maybe take a long walk, or pital around in the yard, and forget your phone, then come in and take a long shower, and just as you've gotten ready to leave the house......you check your messages. Do you know what to say at that point?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Well Sandi, the day is nearly over for me. It is just before 8PM as I write this reply.
Appreciate your advice. Not sure how I will deal with that situation should it arise. I am a man after all. :-)
I showed online with Skype for an hour but gone invisible now, so that will make her think I have gone back out. Went to the car show today, but I wasn't awfully interested. It magnified the fact that W wasn't with me, as we used to do them together.
Mother was impressed though, so not a total waste!
i rang (friend in other coutry) tonight as i havent spoke to her for a long time , what have you said , she was very stand offish on the phone, she told me you wanted to comitt......side and she said you thought i had rang and told her we separated, lookes like you have lost a friend to me, so wont be ringing her again
Me: Not sure what all that is about. I did ring her about the pre house sale inspection, I told her how upset I was certainly
W: and she was very short on the call , not like her
Me: I think she has some issues I have not spoken to her recently but perhaps I should
W: she told me she didnt want to get involved as she didnt want a death on her hands, she knew nothing till you told her
Me: Well that's very strange. She told me something different. Told me she didn't want to get involved too, so that's right. It was obvious to her how I was feeling, but there wasn't much said. I don't remember much of the chat, it was mostly about the house Perhaps I will call her tomorrow and just see how she is, I know she had some serious worries about her sister causing waves
W: still , wont be ringing her again, i took the hint and she said i said awfull things about you, and you told her that,,i cant believe you said horrible things like that to her, ive never said or put you down no i knew about her sister for along time
Me: No I have not said anything horrible, you know me better than that.
W: this has been on going for a long while
Me: I would have told her how distressed I was that I had not given you the love and attention that you deserved and that you had made some very valid points about how I interacted with people.
W: well thats not what she said to me, she said you were realy making me out to be horrible to you
Me: If anything I would have been telling her how special you are and what an idiot I was for not seeing it sooner You know me.
W: well thats another friend you have taken away from me , congratulations
Me: This is one of the things I have learned about talking to others at all, they tend to inflate or imagine what was really said.
W: still wont be going to (that country) again , no skin off my nose
Me: I will talk to her and see what was in her mind. Maybe she was having a bad day? You know that I would not run you down to anyone, in public nor in private. I am proud of you and respect you
W: no leave it be , i wont answer her call now , whats done is done
Me: OK no problem. As you say, not really an issue as we will be selling (home in other country)
W: okay im going to bed now as im tierd
Me: OK. Thanks for helping with the quiz. Sweet dreams
