Obviously this is a difficult thing, but maybe you just need to wait and see on this one. If he's anything like my H, your husband is probably reacting with anger out of guilt for having this A and what he sees it as meaning for your R - i.e. that it's something that will never be forgotten/forgiven.
His anger is not just at you, but at the whole issue and how it's set back your reconciliation, and he probably can't help feeling angry about it. (He could help what he said, but that's just probably lashing out in anger and frustration again.)
If you look at it this way rather than as him just reacting angrily to YOU and what you did/said, it might help you think about how best to respond to this latest development in your piecing.
FWIW, I'd be tempted to let it go and get on with trying to get over it as smoothly as possible without too much talk and analysis. Give yourselves time to see how things evolve and just realise that this was an extremely difficult situation that you two found yourselves in. You now have both learnt something valuable about what not to do.
Sorry if this sounds like 'advice about what to do' - as if I'd know!!! Just wanted to think out loud in case this was of any assistance, and to let you know that I am here for you, as you have been so many times for me.
