Last night was rough, for me and for the whole family. I fell down a bit on my DB and see where I could have done better. I will try to hold onto that and do better next time. It absolutely takes practice.
H took an opportunity to bait me a bit last night, and twist things to make his MLC appear quite normal. He was pointing out trips I take with my girlfriends, and trying to compare to what he has been doing. It was manipulative and I fell into it, got angry and argued. I regret it now, actually regretted it last night.
My sons saw me coming back from neighbors house when they got home and realized what was going on. They were visibly upset and said "i'm going in to say something to him already". I begged them not to, and to just let this settle. They agreed after I pleaded a bit but he could see the hurt in their eyes and pushed to know what was going on.
Ironically earlier that day, my S17 told me out of the blue "I am waiting for dad to come home in a sports car like Jon did, what is with this MLC". I was stunned to hear him say this, but I guess it is more obvious than I originally thought.
We had some discussion, some tears, and the kids begged him to go to counseling with me. That is not the reason I wanted him to go, if at all. I don't want it to be obligatory or for the kids.
This morning he was apologetic (the pattern) and still wanted to discuss MC. I just listened and tried my darndest to DB. We agreed that for nothing else we need to learn to communicate because the kids shouldn't have seen many of the recent arguments they have seen, it is awful!
This weekend I have a few fun GAL activities planned and will take it one day or at times one hour at a time.
