I think that you are doing excellent DB/DR work by evaluating how you can change to make the marriage the best it can be. Too often we put our partner under the microscope and just focus on what problems they have brought to the marriage. In my opinion, DB/DR is really about making YOU a better person, and if it saves your marriage, that is the big-time added bonus.
Using your example of the reversed traditional roles...it sounds like he has grown bored with the House Husband role and could use a little reassurance that he is the man of the household. My suggestion? If your earnings allow, hire a housekeeper to relieve him of some the in-home duties (perhaps once a week or every other week and maybe when you are out of town for a day or more to clean up before you come back). Also, maybe carve out time to do duties together, such as working in the yard, cooking, etc. Also, maybe seek his help with the more manly duties that can be done (even if you are better at them!).
What is your husband's primary love language, and how are you filling his tank? How is he filling yours? What did the two of you do in the past before your marriage was troubled that met each other's needs?
I agree; this board is great for journaling and getting your thoughts and goals in order. It's also a great place to let out the frustrations without taking them out on the spouse (wishing I had done that a couple of nights ago!).
