Thanks for chiming in, MZ, and for the validation all of you have given me for my reaction to seeing ow. I, too, believe that my reaction was a normal one and certainly pretty mild compared to what it would have been in the past or what it would be with other people in my shoes.
However, my reaction has completely driven my H away. He said some pretty nasty things to me yesterday and is completely shutting me out. He hasn't returned home or gotten in touch with the kids. So far, I've told them their Daddy is working, but they are smart kids, and like me, this ain't their first rodeo either.
It's just amazing to me how he can go from one extreme to the other in his feelings. I had no doubt that he was on board with reconciling. Things truly were better than they had been in years, so much so that I shared the news with my family. And now, because I reacted in the way I did to seeing ow, he's completely flip-flopped. He knows that I'm putting lots of blame on myself; he knows how to manipulate a situation like a pro. This is the really ugly side of him I was hoping was gone. Not so much, I'm afraid.
Any suggestions on what to tell the kids or how to react to him now? If history repeats itself and he comes back (as I suspect will happen; just don't know when), how do I handle things? Do I let him know that he has crossed the boundary of putting the kids and me back on the rollercoaster I worked so hard to get off of? Or do I just welcome him back with loving and open arms?
