I spent all night with XW..........on the phone

[25yearsmlc]

I don't think this relationship is ready for counseling because she is a total unequivocal mess, and I think this convo is no different than any other one before.


EXACTLY!! oh, with a little less yelling...gee that sure is hopeful tad???


I think she sucked you back in SO badly. You resisted in the very beginning and then she calmed down enough to suck you in to not hang up, and she proceeded to eventually get around to the spewing and insults, and then kept you on the phone by occasionally throwing out things that probably gave you hope, such as the admission that she doesn't like being divorced.


who does?? She misses the boys too....not enough to Do anything about it but enough to tell YOU not to date...

Once you said you wished you could massage her forehead, that was a palm in the face moment for me ;-) Like really?? After all this, you're pursuing again? Cause that's a type of pursuit.

sorry but that was
among the most pathetic things I've heard you say...

and you know Tad, nothing else I say now will help. It'll be too harsh.

I have to let go of this...but listen to Antonia and ALL the other posters who are trying to get you to MOVE FORWARD...a day before she called you admitted YOU are who holds you back. Not finding a place or a job or saving for a deposit. NONE of that is relevant.

So she calls you and though you are divorced and have heard spew that is literally insane sounding

you lapped it up as soon as she allowed you to...Geez Tad, get some real help--no shame in it, but do it, and move on.

I am still shaking my head.


She is leading you by the nose...the whole "well there are more things that I want to talk about..." now that just has you not GALing, but waiting and wondering what they are, and allowing her the opportunity to keep you distracting from caring for yourself and then be her punching bag when she chooses.

If someone were treating me this way, I'd go fully dark on them. FULLY. It's the behavior of a child in a temper tantrum. She needs a counselor. You can't be that guy. Or she needs time enough alone to get her head right. You will never gain any strength if you keep allowing her to derail you.

Boy this is so true!


She is in the initial shock of the divorce, finding out that it didn't change things. So...let her FACE that fact. What's happening is that she is confiding in YOU, almost like she is blaming you that divorce didn't get her what she wanted. You're the last person she should confide in if she made a mistake.

She is a child who needs to grow up, and the sad thing is that she is stopping YOU from growing up in ways you need to by involving you in her drama, and the even sadder thing is that you keep letting her.