What do I do next? Part 2

[sandi2]

But man, I'd just love to knock on his door and see the look on his face because as far as my W and OM are concerned, they don't think that I know or that I know where OM lives or when they see each other.

First you wanted to confront your W so you could see the look on her face when you tell her you know. Now, you want to see the look on OM's face. What's the deal? What do you really think would happen? As for seeing OM's face.....PLEASE! Do you think he's scared? I mean, have you even thought past that? So, you see her face, or OM's face! It won't be what you expected! I guess, based on how many men say this, it must be a guy thing! But I could understand you wanting to punch his face in, better than lecturing him (an adulterer) in lessons of morality! That would be a good way to have him laugh in your face and tell you things you really, really don't want to hear. I can't see a man who has an A with a M woman (even if he doesn't want her) showing much respect toward the H she left. I mean, he's already shown the ultimate disrespect.

You wanted me to give you some examples of what she'd say? I don't think you really do. But ok, I think she'd start with the part of you being such a grand man in all of this. At least, you think so, right? She'd tell you where you could stick your forgiveness and that she never asked for it. What do you expect to happen when you confront her? Do you think your W will break down and start sobbing her heart out and begging you to let her go back home? She's not ready to go home. She feels free and happy. She's going to start living for herself for a change. She doesn't want anything from you. She could care less if you forgive her or love her. So you can lay off how you can love her unconditionally (b/c you don't)and being so forgiving (b/c you aren't). You want to see her punished. You want her to hurt the way she's made you & the kids hurt. There should be a law, right? And, don't even waste your time trying to convince yourself she's feeling guilty for having an A. The woman left you! She doesn't feel guilty! If she felt very bad over her A, she'd stop it. And of all the things you don't want her to know you've said, this is it: "I still keep hoping that OM gets tired of my W and let's her go". What?? You think just b/c OM got tired of her and dumped her that she'd want you back? Now that will really tick her off!

So.....it hurts to have me talk this way, doesn't it?
That's nothing compared to what your WAW can do. She could take the breath right out of you, just by coldness alone.

Please think it over carefully before doing anything this weekend. If you don't have a back-up plan, it won't do much good to confront them.

(hugs)