wife won't admit PA with OM

[MrBond]

"I'm having a hard time understanding how my faults in the relationship would drive her to a PA. "

It's natural but remember one important thing:

NOTHING YOU'VE DONE EVER JUSTIFIES AN AFFAIR. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

Your W made a decision. Rather than going to MC first or having a heart to heart, or whatever, SHE made the decision to have an A. It's not your fault.

In fact, many WAS's actually accuse the LBS of giving them no choice but to have an A. "If you paid more attention to me, I wouldn't be forced to have sex with another person." Uh yeah right.

Don't beat yourself up over this. The OP is not better than you. Remember that.