lc4, I don't see any reason to beat yourself up. What's done is done. The best thing to do now is to learn from this and decide how you want to handle it the next time. You're only human. This kind of thing is going to drudge up some of those old feelings from time to time. I think getting past this is a process, not something that happens instantly.
I think your H said the right things, but frankly, he is going to need to keep telling you that before you'll be completely assured.
I think you did the right thing by apologizng. You were very transparent in your apology and hopefully you didn't overdo it - it doesn't sound like you did.
It says in DR to put up that mental stop sign when you start having those negative feelings. I've seen others talking about putting a rubber band around their wrist and snapping it when they start having those negative thoughts. Don't know if that helps.
I'd say you took your eyes off the road to recovery for a minute and ended up in the weeds you were looking at. Now you can get it right back on the road and focus straight ahead.
