I do understand what you're trying to say. As you've indicated it's all over the forum and the text.
I must respectively disagree though, at least based upon my intent for usage of the words. My kids being fine if this doesn't work out is a huge judgement call, and quite frankly one that 30 plus years of research doesn't support. If my kids end up children of divorced parents, i it is my opinion that even the best scenario is a loss. This loss is one that I can do my best to avoid. I will work on myself as I've been doing and will continue db'ing to avoid that loss.
I'm not trying to win so that someone loses. This is not a competition. I'd be willing to bet that those who have successfully saved their marriage feel victorious as do those who have improved themselves along the way.
