new to this..

[learning2listen]

ok something i have left out of our sitch, that I am thinking to get accurate advice needs to be brought to light.

My H had a criminal record due to something that really wasnt his fault (words from the judge..) this haunted him day in and day out for years prior to me.I tried to get it off his record but he would have had to do alot of work and with the laws constantly changing in this area it got more and more difficult.


When we had our last major blow up (almost 4 years ago) a switch flipped in him and his anger went out of control. He did this infront of my friend and she called the police, he was arrested and charged with multiple things, a restraining order was put in effect and we had no idea what we were going to do.

after 3 months he was able to come home, and his family paid for a wonderful attorney and all charges were dropped or reduced, in addition the original old charges were dismissed. In our state it was the first of this ever.

When we were moving to our separate residents and again in text message before we actually started talking rationally he stated he resents me for that arrest and only came home because his attorney said it would help the case.

I truly dont believe this, however the words are out there, and that is what he does.. then he will go to his cave and sleep alot. which is what he is doing now. I never thought he would do this to me and the kids, but it is a pattern i have experienced first hand, i have seen him do this to his best friends, brothers and mother. I know he has issues I know he needs help, but I push his buttons too..

I know he is starting to come out of his cave, I can see it. Its very subtle and I think this is the worse I have seen him do, he threatened to end his life because he saw it to be hopeless.. I do not understand why his family does not insist he get help, but its easier for them to blame me for his problems and if we get divorced he will be fine...

So you see that is my "whole story" any words of advice now?