Putting it back together, but SSM issues linger

[Accuray]

Venting...

Maybe I am crazy. Last night when we went to bed my sister's OM came up, he had requested to connect to me on LinkedIn. My W asked how I felt about him. I told her that I didn't think what he had done was right, that he had pursued a married woman with young children and effectively broke up a marriage. I said that I'd be polite with him because my sister chooses to be with him now, but that doesn't mean I will ever accept how they came together. My W argued that my sister had accepted his overtures and kept it going, etc etc. Looking back on it, I heard her defending her own OM -- maybe she was, maybe she wasn't but it made me crazy anxious. I tried to gracefully end the conversation, then went and took an AD pill because I couldn't sleep at that point.

This morning we were talking and she said her friend who is also married and is a serial cheater was sad about the Penn State situation because she's a big fan. I said "really, that's what she's sad about? I don't understand why people get so attached to sports teams." That set my wife off telling me that I was wrong for not understanding why people like sports so much, and why it was OK for her friend to be sad. I heard my W telling me that the way I was feeling about it was wrong.

W and I discussed it later in the morning, and she told me that everyone is entitled to their feelings, and that I was saying that her friend's feelings were wrong. I told her that wasn't the point, her friend wasn't here -- I wasn't going to talk to her friend. I was sharing my view on it with my W.

Obviously lots of subtext there. I think the root issue is that W has never said she felt what she did was wrong. She was sorry for how it made me feel, but felt justified. That's been simmering with me. Any time I hear her talking about infidelity in a way that portrays it as OK, it makes me angry. Don't know what to do about that.

--Accuray