The Hardest Part of Piecing

[MynameisMZ]

Thinking out loud here. I use these boards to do a to of my journaling. I find writing these things helps to clear my brain and refocus.

I'm in the process of looking at how I've treated H and making changes to be more of a compassionate partner. I'm figuring it out. We both have things in our past that seem to dovetail perfectly and not in a good way. Being conscious of those is on the front burner right now, but it opens up a new realm for conflict trying to change those old patterns.

To Share- My career was the "bigger one" and the one that could afford us all that we liked to do. So I often had to leave H with childcare duties and rearranging his schedule to accommodate mine. We have a strange R in that it is reversed. He cooks, does most laundry....and I'll be out mowing the lawn, stacking wood.

I'll never forget the day I walked in from a long day. There he was at the sink with the baby in a backpack carrier, washing dishes, and the house was spotless!

Speed up to the past 3-4 years; that imbalance and my over-functioning (which my career demands) started to show its ugly results. I could be gone 24 hours at a time and I'd come home to the "frat house" and it would look like a cyclone hit it. H eventually found someone who adored him and it was an escape from our hell. There were other historical influences as well to cause the perfect storm.