I spent all night with XW..........on the phone

[Albuquerque]

Tad,

With all respect to Lotus, I disagree about Retrouville. My "opinion" is that any type of marriage counseling is pointless while the MLCer is still lost and in a fog. They have to be more or less on the path to being whole and healthy themselves before they can even consider worrying about a relationship. So that would be my advice for you. Do not look at this as a way to fix your relationship. Think with love and look at it as a way to be there for her as she works through things for HERSELF. You cannot fix, her, but you can be a lighthouse in her storm. Make THAT your focus and THEN see what happens down the road. As you said, she is still lost and confused and she is clearly at least reaching a point where she may be realizing that a helping hand every so often may help. Be a role model for her on how someone can live a happy independent life. Go back and read my thread and see some of the things that my H said to me that made him rethink things. Good luck Tad.