Classic how even though she initiated separation and divorce it is still all your fault.
I didn't read anything in your post where she owned any of her part in the breakdown of your M. Until she takes responsibility for her part and deals with her issues I don't believe there could be a lasting R.
Can I ask if anything she said about you and your behavior in her spew that stung?
What have you learned about yourself in this journey?
Tad, she's still deep within the tunnel, she has a ways to go.
Keep working on detachment and no expectations. It's the only way to maintain hope if a future R with her is what you decide you'd like to see happen. You know there are no guarantees.
Her statements that she doesn't want your sons to have a replacement mother? Her confusion is so very evident in this. First of all, your sons are older. It's not like they need mothering in the way that younger kids do. They are old enough to make up their own minds what type of relationship they want with her. I believe what she's saying is that she doesn't want you to have a replacement wife. The old "I don't want you, but I don't want anyone else to have you either" saying.
Hang in there Tad. Remember that she still has to face and settle her own issues. You can't fix them for her. Keep working on yourself and moving forward and live your life to the fullest. It's the only way to have a healthy future R with either your XW or someone new.
