Everwhere is walking distance if you have the time

[ClingingToHope]

So things are getting worse for XW. I sent her the name of a reputable roofer. When I dropped D9 off I went inside to see the damage. There wasn't much in D12's room. Then D9 said "come see the basement."

So I go down to the 3-season porch and there's a ton of water stains around the column leading to the chimney.

I knew right away that the roof leaked around the chimney.

I headed to work and got texts from XW. The roofer said the rubber roof was put on incorrectly in 2007 and it's likely been leaking for a long time. There could be mold and serious damage to the walls.

So now XW is in a fix. The house is going into foreclosure and may need massive repairs -- although that likely would come from the prior roofer's insurance. But at least right now she has to decide whether to make at least a temporary fix so they can stay there through the foreclosure process.

The house does have a very musty smell though. Before, I chalked it up to all of the pets. It could be severe mold though, which isn't good for D12 and her asthma.

This would be a difficult night for the both of us if we were together. But we're not. I faced the fact long ago that the house and debt was going to put me into bankruptcy. It's hitting XW squarely right now and, as she wanted, she gets to face it alone.

I just feel strange. I feel vindicated in a way because in 2009 when she blissfully kicked me out I said financially we couldn't make it separately. There was too much debt and the house was a mess.

I feel happy because I felt like I was flat on my back for a long time and now I am on my way off the mat while she's crashing.

I feel guilty because I feel happy.

I feel sad and sorry for her because I want to be there to work through this together.

I feel very sad for my daughters because the day they are both dreading, leaving the only house they've ever really called home, likely is coming sooner now than later.

And I feel anxious, because who knows where they'll end up. She may drag them up by her mom, 20 minutes north of here, to a different school district, making it much more difficult to see them so much.

And now I have a headache.