I did talk to mom a bit and she said my whole memory of the fire thing is dead on...and also that now that I say it, she doesn't think I was "ever" alone as a kid, even into teenage years...that due to her and dad's overlapping schedules, someone was always there and they rarely used sitters. Our sitters were the girls next door who we thought of as family, too. She said that SHE has never spent a night totally alone in a house that she can remember. Always had us kids there if dad worked late, and when we had all moved, dad was retired and he doesn't leave to go anywhere, ever, unless she is with him.
I wonder if this is just something women in general deal with...maybe not so much women in their 20s now who might be more prone to live in an apt alone, but women my age and up. I mean I had a college roommate, and when I didn't, XH stayed in my room or I stayed in his. EVERY NIGHT. We were dating before my roommate even dropped out. So even in a DORM I was never alone.
I don't feel conscious of the aloneness, but clearly it's in my subconscious. I bet men don't feel this way at all after divorce, and women who don't probably were more self-sufficient to begin with.
M45 Bomb 6/09; EA 6/10; Divorced 1/11 Proud single mom of 7 little feline girls and one little feline boy "Fall down 53 times. Get up 54." -- Zen saying
