Thanks much Harrier. I know that is true in my head, I just need to keep posting and reading on here looking for more help in coping to keep things in perspective. Without it, I think I would have caved several times already.
We've made plans for Thanksgiving and they're not together (she's wanting time alone with her family to tell them her plans). It seems almost like a deadline for me, hoping things will change before she has to do that. I know it wont be easy for her and they'll likely give her a hard time, she doesn't want the kids around due to the drama she's expecting. Wish I could be there for her for that or moreover that it doesn't have to happen at all.
