DG, Keep on Keeping on.. is exactly what you need to be doing.
Try not to wonder too much about the what's and why's. That's easy enough for the average DBer.. but after this long without any contact.. it really makes you wonder. I know It does to me.
Be prepared for anything.. especially now after you have set the 1st boundary.
Be aware of the hamsterwheel because it can spin something into a negative.
If your h was lonely (which you can or can't assume at this point) and came over to see the cats or whatever - there is a positive in that.
You're worth missing!
Does that mean you hope or have expectations? No.. but realizing positives influences your mindset.
Stinking thinking about our spouses does nothing but hurt US. Why give them that power?
It's all about perspective.
When I got on my hamsterwheel about the FB comment, it was my friend that was like "Val - You're turning into a pretty great person.. why wouldn't your w at least test the waters to see who you are now. You've been fair and kind, and have always left the door open".
And that wasn't to give me hope or inflate my ego.. but to stop me from looking at her why's and turn to my why's.
I have no idea why my w did what she did. I only know it was a positive.. A positive because the work I am doing has created it.
There is no way my w would EVER talk to me if I was being a cold, heartless biatch, or if I was the same Val of pressuring her and teaching her lessons.
I feel like I'm starting to ramble.. but my point being instead of me asking why my w did that postive thing or this.. I'm starting to think "well Why not?"
Does that make sense?
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
