Rick - I think I've mentioned it before, but sometimes I feel like parts of my life are going better than they ever have, particularly in regards to the GAL activities, etc. Parts of my life are not going as well. I choose to concentrate on the parts of my life that are going well when I can. Not that I'm ignorning the part, but I try to concentrate on what I can control and make that part the best I can.
No exercise this morning. I decided to take the morning off. It's been over a week since I've taken a day off. I stayed up late last night and in turn got out of bed late. It was raining, too.
I did see my W this morning for about 5 minutes. She stopped by to drop off something of my S's. She hung out with the dog for a bit. I just went about my business. The little interaction we had was positive and upbeat, on both sides.
I couldn't help but chuckle to myself this morning when I saw the school bus go down the street. Then about 30 seconds later I saw my W's car racing down the street. One my W's complaints was that she felt stressed a lot. She was racing to get my S to the bus before it left. More of the same. It seems to be pretty evident she brings a lot of this stress upon herself.
I'm on a fairly even keel today. I do have a low level anxiety that comes and goes, but for the most part it's a fairly even keel. I know with these roller coasters it can always change in a heartbeat.
Not too much excitement today, and that's OK with me. I'm sure it'll come another day.
My Mom came down tonight and we went out to eat with my S. I had been kind of bad about going dim with my Mom. It's something I struggle with a bit. I love my Mom, but my parents D'd when I was in Junior High. I think sometimes she provides that negative influence that I want to avoid. She really just doesn't want to see me hurting anymore. We ended up having a nice dinner together. We avoided talking about my sitch, which was cool with me.
Hopefully tomorrow's another reasonably calm day or an even better day.
HEY JB, Glad you had a good dinner with your mom, I just got back from my friends moms funeral,. My mom is still living, I cherish the time we spend together, glad you still get a chance to see yours. Enjoy the rest of the day.
m 54 XW 48 m 12 t 14 bomb 6-11 s 10-11 wife moved to other state 10-21-11 d 9-12
O GOD THY SEA IS SO GREAT AND MY BOAT IS SO SMALL!
Not too much going on today, and that's OK with me. I'll be just fine if it stays that way. I'm just trying to get a lot of work done because I have tomorrow and Monday off work. We either use our vacation or we lose it.
I will likely see my W tonight because she will be picking up my S for the evening.
Tonight's GAL activity of choice will be my Men's group at church. I'm looking forward to it! It's turning out to be a great group as well.
No exercise this morning, but I may make it up for it tonight in the cold and under the cover of darkness.
JB I should try that but I'm too lazy and tired by the time I get home. But I have been walking about three miles a day while at work. The boss is me so I give me permission during work hours to walk and exercise
Glad your day is going well. Keep praying for me.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
I received an email this morning. I usually don't pass these things around, but I found it very inspiring and pertinent to our situations here. I thought I'd share:
Originally Posted By: jbnati's email
A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee...You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.
A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.
Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.
In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'
'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.
Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hardboiled egg.
Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'
Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.
'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?
Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?
Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.
When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches..
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
I hope this insipres someone.
My goal is to be the coffee. Y'all can hold me accountable to it and swing the 2x4s when I'm the carrot or the egg.
JB I should try that but I'm too lazy and tired by the time I get home. But I have been walking about three miles a day while at work. The boss is me so I give me permission during work hours to walk and exercise
Glad your day is going well. Keep praying for me.
Rick, 3 miles - not too shabby! Keep up the good work! And yes, I will continue to pray for you!
I had another pleasant interaction with my W tonight. She came by to pick up my S. She was showing a house tonight and asked to use the computer. I went upstairs and unlocked it for her. As much as I wanted to, I resisted hovering over her while she was on the computer. When I post on this site, I always use the Google Chrome browser and I don't have it automatically login. My FB is on Firefox. She always uses Internet Explorer. And she's considerably less tech savvy than me anyway. And if that didn't make sense to you, don't worry about it - it just lowers the risk she'll see something I don't want her to. I had to leave before she left, so I was a little paranoid. She probably wasn't going to do anything too devious, but with she's been doing lately, my level of trust has dropped.
GAL'ing activity of choice tonight was the Men's group. Great group meeting tonight!! Had to come home and work some more because I'm off tomorrow. But at least there's a football game on.
I took the day off work today, so it's time to GAL. Instead of taking my ride last night in the cold darkness, I went down to the bike path and rode in the cold, crisp sunlight. 18 miles today in 35 degree weather.
I also smuggled in Chipotle for my S at school again. Since I'm off work, I stayed for recess, too. We had a mean game of 4 square going with probably about 8-9 kids involved. I think the other kids as well as my S may like it when I show up. If not, at least I enjoy them! On the way out, I ran into one of my neighbor's sister, who knows both my W and me. She ended up asking about my sitch. I told her I was DB'ing without telling her I was DB'ing IOW, I'm just staying busy, staying positive, doing a lot new cool things, being a rock for my S, etc. and my W can decide whether she wants to come back to this environment or whether she'll miss out.
Tonight my S and I are going to watch Carolina and MSU play hoops on the aircraft carrier. We have a tobyMac concert tomorrow! Looking forward to both!
And she's considerably less tech savvy than me anyway. And if that didn't make sense to you, don't worry about it - it just lowers the risk she'll see something I don't want her to. 
because I'm off tomorrow.