Living with groundlessness

[AntoniaB]

I am also completely aware that that dream sounds like a recovered memory of an abuse victim...who saw her mom threatened and couldn't help her, or who is also fearful herself, and I am thoroughly disturbed by that. My siblings and I suspected some degree of physical abuse from my dad to my mom when we were kids, as she used to have large unexplained bruises on her thighs that we'd see if she had shorts on, and she'd just say that dad would "tickle" her roughly. Yeah right.

But I am the oldest and there would have been a year there where only I was around, though I'd have been a baby. It would certainly explain a lot if there was some abuse memory I repressed. I mean, A LOT. I don't know where to go from here. The sort of themes or concerns in that nightmare are NOT new, just sharper in focus than they ever were. I've been having forms of that nightmare for years. I don't see my doctor for a month so I guess I'll just write it down for her.