What do I do next? Part 2

[Accuray]

Just remember Luvhurts that you don't HAVE to do anything. You can decide to walk away today. You can get nasty and try to make the D as painful as possible, you can badmouth your W to your kids and try to make them hate their mother. You can decide not to see your kids anymore to get a "fresh start" for yourself. You can go on Match.com and start looking for someone to date. Your W made her choices, you get to make yours.

The point is that while you are in some ways a victim in terms of how you got here, you are not a victim going forward, you are charting your own course and *deciding* what to do, the choice is yours.

Each interaction with your W is a decision in terms of how you want to be. Each day is a decision to continue to DB or not -- to let your wife's behavior hurt you or not. To be "the better man" or not.

That's another realization -- when you figure out that you're doing this because you WANT to, versus being forced into it, or doing it "for the kids" or doing it "because your W doesn't know what's good for her", you have fewer reasons to be angry about your situation and it makes it easier! You're doing this for yourself, because it's what you want.

You need to realize you are not trapped here, you are making choices, and so far they have been good ones in my opinion, but the ball is in your hands.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't complain about it, complain away if that makes it easier. The situation you are in is awful, it's the hardest thing to bear. Your W took "the easy way out" and you are digging in for the long haul, with an unselfish act of love. You will get through it, and you will do it for you.

--Accuray