Clearly, the fact that both of you had issues around saying ILY doesn't mean that you didn't love each other deeply--although it may feel that way to your H at the moment.
I'm curious, though: in your new M, would you say it more? Are there other changes you would make to reflect your new understanding of love?
Interestingly, the other things you mention--thinking the same thoughts, being in synch--are also part of the initial infatuation stage of romantic love, when lovers want to feel like extensions/"completions" of each other. So you were definitely more than just friends!
