too much time and distance

[any chance?]

Thanks, Tele:
Your words ring true, and I am trying to move forward. Have to. Call it dropping the rope, disengaging, whatever....bottom line is I need to move forward on my own and develop a new game plan for my future. My long held future vision has been shattered, and I need to construct a new one. I am trying not to despair, but I will admit the dark clouds roll in on a frequent basis.

If only I understood what has happened, it would be different. Have no doubt, I owe my part in the collapse of our M...I did wrong, I neglected my W....but nothing justifies what has happened here. As I have said before, our M is just a piece of driftwood on the tidal wave of her emotion, depression and confusion. I will stand by her, support her, and be there for her if and when she needs me. I will not leave her in the dust, will not just reject her, as she has done me. That is not who I am.

I am told by folks here and my friends that life will get better, that lessons learned here will serve me well in the future, that life goes on and the clouds will clear. I am sure they are all correct. Just hard to see it from my vantage point.

Time to focus on PMA and GAL activities. Time to put the last horrid 2-3 years behind me. Gotta do it.