New here; husband left

[Coyote]

"Make the changes last.... they shoud be real, and not just a tactic to make your H come back."

This is so true Angel,

I know when I first started DBing back in '05 I was ghung ho to win W back! Tried this and that tactic, and I knew them all but... Yes, the tactics themselves had some measured success, here and there but in my sitch W had stuff that wasn't going to be resolved overnight. So did I for that matter.

To make a long story short, at the time I had trouble seeing the bigger and better picture. I was making changes 'just' to win W back. Even though Michelle and some select others warn about this. I didn't take to 'heart' the fact that I needed to do stuff to make me a better fellow all around. (Still working on this actually. Not a bad thing...was about to talk about BBqueing but I'll stop...with regret)

For example, exercising regularily. At first I worked out with the intention of lookin' good for W. I eventually got shot down on this. I then stopped exercising for a couple years. Became out of shape, Feelin' bluesy. Later, I started execising again but this time I found out that, 'Hey, I feel better when I do this, I think I'll keep this up!" I haven't stopped since. (Hopin' TMC25 can bypass this step and just get to the good stuff!.)

I know this can occasionally sound a bit like a buzz phrase but it is true, "Make changes for yourself" and "Lasting change takes time." Yes, sometimes it can take a little time but you can hit the button on the nose...sweet