thanks sandi2 for the help, the more insight you can give, the better off I will be. Like you said she is not like my original wife. She will be really hard to reach. Her wall is pretty big and thick. If I didn't love her so much, I guess I wouldn't be here and trying even though there is so much pain. Not just mine but hers.
She only stops by the house when I am not around. She stopped in today and picked up a couple of things. Left me a note and a check to get me to pay a couple of bills online. Funny she didn't say please on the note. She doesn't have internet yet. I txt her I would take care of it. She replied thank you and when she gets her house and internet she will be able to take care of them. Its kind of funny how you mentioned about expectations/responses. On the note she left there was no thank you, but she txt me a thank you. Both mean nothing.
One goal I would like, is for us both just be able to be around each other without her worrying about me talking about r and will be able to look at me. I am taking your advice on the r talk. The next person to bring it up, will be her. Since she left, she hasn't been able to make any eye contact.
sandi2, can you give me some insight on the lack of eye contact. Since you are giving me info from the other point of view. Is this something you went through also. Why is there such a difficulty with this? Is it because of the hurt and pain, the anger toward me, is she afraid I will pick up something she is hiding, because she is uncomfortable with me or her decision, is she afraid she will let her guard down and show some emotions for me that she is trying to keep hid, or other possibilities?
Also, from a WAW point of view, even though you are putting on this strong front for everyone, are you still struggling internally with the idea I still love the h/w even though they keep telling them and everyone else I don't, am I doing the right thing,etc. I guess what I am saying, what kind of internal struggles continue for the WAW or in this case you after you walk. I have read that the WAW initially rewrites everything or a lot of it to help justify their reasons.
What are some of the things you told your h when you went through this? I want to compare notes.
It seems like the first thing I hear from people when I tell them we are separated or what I read online about these types of stich - they always ask if she is having an affair or the online stuff says there is ea or pa. If there is, I guess I will have to deal with that when I cross that bridge. Right now I need to concentrate on me and the things I learn here to get her to start looking around, under or over her wall.
