Another crisis.....but H opening up now

[angel61]

Thanks Cyrena!

I hope it is as you say.... since I seem to follow so closely in your footsteps, my H seems to be so much like yours.

I do believe he did love me, but our courtship was not the typical one. We started out where I was in a superior position, him being in a training position as a resident and I one of the mentors as an attending in the hospital. I was actually engaged to my BF of several years, but who I was no longer "in love" with.

We had an immediate attraction to each other. He always would ask me to be the one to teach him, assist his surgeries, and we would sometimes meet up after work to chat, ostensible on the cases, but really to be with each other in an unsaid fashion.

We still dated other people, but that did not stop us from being physical, and we ended up as what now is called "friends with benefits". No words of love were exchanged. No committments. I broke off with my fiancee, then he stopped dating other people, we started getting to know each others family, but still no ILY's were exchanged. We had so much fun though, and were with each other almost all of the time.

I was puzzled by our relationship. I talked to our mutual friends, one of them who said that he was suppressing his feelings, because of our age difference, and because he felt that professionally, I was so much more advanced and that he could never catch up. The others were all as puzzled as I was.

Until one day, 3 years after we met, when he asked me to be his GF, and I replied by saying that I was too old (by then I was 34) to be playing games and if I was to be his GF it meant we were serious and that we were looking at a forever committment. Much to my surprise, he said he was going to marry me, and immediately made plans. We got married the next year.

Although we were happy those first years, we rarely said ILY's to each other! We spoke though of how close we were, how we could almost think the same thoughts, how in synch we were with each other.

NBow, when H recalls those days, he feels like it is as if he married his best friend. I disagree but what can I do at this point?

If ever he will have to realize his love for me, it may be that he also has to realize that he has loved me even then. Althugh to be honest, it does not matter much to me anymore. As long as he will love me in the here and now, in our new M!