wife won't admit PA with OM

[MrBond]

"I definitely have been putting myself first. I am the sole worker in the house so I have rationalized my behavior as being in the interest of the family. However, I'm clearly doing that too much. I really need to step back and look at my W's needs as an individual and how I can be a positive influence or assist with them, as opposed to putting my needs first even if I logically think that it is in the family's best interest... or at a minimum discuss it clearly."

Exactly