Finally confronted H on affair...Now what????

[keep_going]

H is coming back tomorrow and he wants to talk about the D. He wants to do mediation and not spend a lot of money that we don't have. I would be willing to first hear what he proposes (I already talked to a lawyer and know based on California's laws and formulas what he would probably end up giving me for child support and alimony.)

But my question is - how do I approach the D overall? Do I cooperate with him? If we do mediation it will happen very fast, is my understanding...

Do I want to buy time?

What do I say? Do I propose a legal separation instead?
Do I ask to go to counseling? (I had asked H before - to learn to communicate better regardless of the outcome of our M). He said he would think about it, but after one fight a few weeks ago, he said he was actually going to agree to it, until that day and that fight. Should I bring it up again?

WHAT SHOULD BE MT ATTITUDE WITH HIM AND MY APPROACH?

I have been scouring the boards but have not found anything specific on this. Maybe I am not looking in the right place?

Thanks for any help or suggestions!!!