What do I do next? Part 2

[Accuray]

Got it, I hear you Luvhurts. I went through the same thing with my W and still do: (in my head) "You got to have an exciting affair which was all about YOU, tried to blow up our marriage, and now I have to do all the hard work by myself, and you're going to treat me like cr@p while I do it! You had no problem putting energy into the affair, but you can't muster up the energy to work with me?"

My W still does not say that what she did is wrong -- at one point she apologized for how it made me feel, but that's not quite the same thing is it?

That's the realization I had -- I wanted the marriage more than the apology. I wanted the intact family more than I wanted the remorse. I wanted to see my wife happy more than I wanted to see her sorry. In order to get what I wanted more, I couldn't pursue the other thing at all, because it would be destructive to the main goal. Therefore, you have to make peace with it, swallow it, forget it, whatever you need to do other than pursue it.

Doesn't mean it feels good, and it doesn't mean you'll get over it easily, you just have to get right with YOURSELF without relying upon anything from your W to get you there. It has to be all about you.

--Accuray