Let me explain what she's doing with the cat. There are no children between the two of you to use as a "connection" or "excuse", or "opportunity" to make contact. The real reason she returned the cat was b/c then she could pretend to be concerned about the cat's well-being, not yours.
I see this happen all the time with couples who have kids. Yeah, they use their kids as a gateway. You'll never get them to admit it, but they do! The WAS and the LBS are both guilty. Whenever there are no children, but pets.....same thing.
Now listen, do not be telling her that you could have snuggled (or some such stuff as that) b/c that is heavy pursuing. Sending her kisses by TM or whatever, is a big no-no! You are not to profess your love, express any need for her affection, or remind her of how much you miss her. Every time you do that.....you'll have to start over at square one.
When she contacts you or shows up, that is her pursuing you (but she would die before admitting it). That's why she has to find some "excuse" to contact. Wha-la, the cat! Now she has a 24/7 built in excuse.
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At what point if she does, do I respond positively and start building?
Well let me put it this way......that time is far away that you do not need to even spend time thinking about it. You have to much other things to worry about right now. The biggest thing is to not jump at any of her pursuits or (what you will think is "positive" from her). More later, but just remember....she's only testing you.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
