W is angrier after my 180's - time + consistency

[workinghardguy]

Hey 2TP... I agree with much of what Bond said. This is your chance to differentiate yourself. Why do you care what she wants? Exactly where has that gotten you?

Tell the truth. W and you are not getting along. Being together makes W sad. You want to be together, but that can't happen right now. You are not against being together in the future, but no promises.

The boys aren't dumb... they will quickly figure out most of this anyway, so don't lie to them. They need to be able to trust, so be honest.

Also, lots of what I've read about this says not to include the "None of this is your fault" for a couple reasons. First, they will likely internalize the D and think it's their fault anyway. Just because you say it won't change that. Just as you can't control how your W feels, you also can't control how they feel.

Second, if they haven't considered that this might be their fault, now you are telling them that maybe it is. Sure you're saying it isn't, but you're introducing the concept that in some way it could be. Why go there?

I'd drop that part and just say you will work through this and you're still a family. Just a different family with a different structure.

Ok... and the changing places thing every week? What the heck is that about? No offense man, but your W is screwy... that's just plain weird. Personally I wouldn't do it. The kids needs stability and definition. They will need to know you each have a "home" to go to. I just wouldn't go there.