You are absolutely right, I do have resentment and anger. Some over the initial A and some over some things that have occurred since then. Some of the anger is with myself for not being strong enough to draw some very clear boundaries for myself. I feel as if I have let myself down over the years all in the effort to keep my M, but now I see just how very unhealthy it was. I reacted so many times out of fear, and I finally feel strong enough that I won't let that happen any longer.
I think I need to find a good counselor just for me and my own issues. I'll be working on that in the coming week.
I do believe that I want my M but not the one that I've had recently. I want a new and healthy M
Boy do I have a lot of work ahead of me. One step at a time!
This is a healthy attitude, Autumn. If you can gather your strength from the situation you will be able to deal with the highs and lows that are coming.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
