I agree with you except on the love part. In my situation, XH used the ILYBINILWY and many other " lies" to break free but his actions were totally opposite. This man loved me deeply. His words were cruel but his actions were confusing me. Now, He tells me often that he loves me, always has, always will. He doesn't tell me that he wants to come home anymore but his actions, again, are showing him coming forward SLOWLLLYYY! Throughout our time appart, he wanted to come home MANY TIME. I'm the one that said: " No, you are NOT ready! If you come home now, within 2 weeks, i'm the one that would leave you. You still have alot to work on. I'm always here for you. I am NOT looking for anyone else. My heart is still yours and i still see myself as your wife. As long as i feel this way, no other relationship would work."
After his rock buttom, he came to me and asked: " I want you! Do you think that you can forgive me for all the pain i caused you? (yes) Do you think that if we treat eachother right, respect eachother and not expect anything from the other, that we could fix this? (yes) He is so ashamed of his actions, while on his own, that everytime i hear of A thing he did, he runs. Not because he doesn't want to be with me but because he can't bear to see my pain. He steps back and gives me time to accept it and come forward. This back and forth as been going on since last X-MAS. I feel he wants to come clean but he also knows that if everything came out all at once, it would be to much for me to deal with and HE, for sure, WOULD LOSE ME! The way i see it, he is facing his demonds. He has so much to process! He caused me and our family alot of grief and still, I AM SO PROUD OF HIM FOR THE WORK HE IS DOING. NOT EASY for anyone but way harder on MLCer. We say MLCer lives in the past. I SAY GOOD. Their issues are in their past. If they're there, they will find what they have to fix. They will eventually come to therms with their pain.
I'm proud of XH! I hope, in the end, that he'll chose me to share the rest of his life with. If he doesn't, i will respect his decision. As of right now, i don't want to start over with anybody else. I'm good as a single mother.
