Yeah, I think it's time you start dealing with these past issues. You're right, it is so easy to fool ourselves, especially to keep the peace.
Listen, Autumn, I make no judgment. I am dealing with some of the same issues right now. My H's A is fresh on my mind. He's looking to reconcile, however, I refuse to send either of us down that path until I am certain that I can forgive. The other internal issues I have is whether I can forget and trust him again? These are deeply personal issues that we need to answer for ourselves. My life has very little to do with my H these days as I try to find these answers for myself. I need to do what is best for me, while making sure that I am as kind as I can be to my H.
I think this is the place that you are in right now. I see some resentment and anger in you that needs to be resolved before you can worry about your H or your M. I can completely understand the frustration you feel regarding his unhappiness. My H would tell me over and over how unhappy he was but never would give me an explanation as to why. It was a source of tremendous frustration for me until I realized that I was very unhappy myself and I needed to learn how to fix that issue (still working on it). You don't strike me as unhappy with your life, but perhaps you've been unhappy with your marriage for awhile? I don't know. I'm really just trying to figure out where the breakdown is here...
I hope you are having a good day and I'm praying for you.
