Jake, happy people do not have affairs. Happy people do not have affairs even if their best friends are having affairs. Just doesn't happen. Unhappy people have affairs. So, those seemingly "small issues" that you cannot believe led to the marital issues, you better stand up and pay attention FAST. I fear that this casual attitude regarding her issues is showing in your attitude during your conversations with your W. That's very hurtful to people and it leads to a feeling of hopelessness on the part of our spouses. I would seriously reconsider your position regarding these issues and focus a bit more.
Yeah that's not exactly true, A 2008 study in the Journal of Marriage and Family found that people in happy marriage do indeed have affairs. They aren't nearly the rates as people in unhappy marriages, but this is just another DB platitude that doesn't have bearing in the real world.
Most likely there are problems when someone strays, but not always.
In fact, I'd say thinking your marriage is happy can lull you into a false sense of security.
Also, you are asking the OP to do something that is basically impossible now. DB ask you to perform herculean, if not impossible mental gymnastics. That's why a large % of the people her back slide and do it often.
Instead of just saying "don't think about it." I'd suggest an alternative.
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
