I forget how much having a dog is like having an infant. I've been up at 4:30 every day so far this week taking Luccy on her morning jaunt. I don't mind it really, it's when there is blowing snow that this is going sukk.
I'm still puzzled as to what h was doing here yesterday. I almost think that maybe he was feeling lonely. He said he did sit with the cats for a bit.
I don't know...I'm just going to keep on keeping on.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
Thanks for sharing the chicken enchilada recipe. And I didn't know about crock pot liners; will have to try them. I will post my chickenwhatisthisstuff recipe on my latest thread today. Believe me, it's nothing exotic or elaborate, but I am having fun trying new things and preparing more than PB & J's for meals.
Sounds like your H doesn't know what he wants. You're in a good place right now, even though it may not feel like it. Like you said, just keep on keeping on. If H realizes he's made a big mistake you have the new-found strength and confidence to decide if your marriage is worth saving. If he continues down the path he has chosen, you will still be strong enough to deal with that.
Either way, it's a win for you. For him, not so much.
H 56 W 48 D27,S21 SS25 SS22 Severely autistic M(#2 for both) 9 1/2 yrs. "I've never loved you" 3/7/2011 Separated 8/7/2011 BITS
It definitely sounds like your H is confused, I can't imagine why he would say that the papers were there if they weren't. Very odd. I do agree that you need that boundary of making arrangements before he comes to your home. After all of this time it is not appropriate for him to just let himself in like that.
Thanks so much for posting the recipe. I can't wait to try it on my boys!!
Telemark- crock pot liners are the best. You don't have all the stuff caked on that you need a chisel to remove. I do a lot of my cooking in the crock pot. I think I even posted a recipe for crock pot lasagna on FB in my notes if you want that. My kids LOVE it.
Gee...I'm beginning to feel like this is recipe corner, LOL.
I hope everyone is doing well today.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
DG, Keep on Keeping on.. is exactly what you need to be doing.
Try not to wonder too much about the what's and why's. That's easy enough for the average DBer.. but after this long without any contact.. it really makes you wonder. I know It does to me.
Be prepared for anything.. especially now after you have set the 1st boundary.
Be aware of the hamsterwheel because it can spin something into a negative.
If your h was lonely (which you can or can't assume at this point) and came over to see the cats or whatever - there is a positive in that.
You're worth missing!
Does that mean you hope or have expectations? No.. but realizing positives influences your mindset.
Stinking thinking about our spouses does nothing but hurt US. Why give them that power?
It's all about perspective.
When I got on my hamsterwheel about the FB comment, it was my friend that was like "Val - You're turning into a pretty great person.. why wouldn't your w at least test the waters to see who you are now. You've been fair and kind, and have always left the door open".
And that wasn't to give me hope or inflate my ego.. but to stop me from looking at her why's and turn to my why's.
I have no idea why my w did what she did. I only know it was a positive.. A positive because the work I am doing has created it.
There is no way my w would EVER talk to me if I was being a cold, heartless biatch, or if I was the same Val of pressuring her and teaching her lessons.
I feel like I'm starting to ramble.. but my point being instead of me asking why my w did that postive thing or this.. I'm starting to think "well Why not?"
Does that make sense?
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
I don't read anything into his visit here, the only thing I wonder is where the heck the D papers are that he supposedly left?
It's hard to prepare yourself emotionally for reading something like that, only to not do it.
His decisions are his, my decisions are mine.
Journaling---
I've got a 3 day weekend this weekend and I am stoked. I think I might put up some Holiday decorations. I'm not looking forward to being alone this Christmas, but I'll live.
"Everyone you meet has baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack." ¤Formerly DelinquentGurl¤
Not sure where you're from DG... oh wait, Wisconsin it appears.. hey, so am I anyway, you don't have to be alone. There are plenty of places that would welcome a helping hand at the holidays. Shelters, DV shelters, nursing homes, and all sorts of places. Around this time they need help and volunteers. Plus you may make some great GAL connections. Just a suggestion.
Married 6 together 8 Me:38 W:31 second marriage for both SS12, SD10, S6 Bomb: 9/8/11 (day before our 5 yr ann) W moved out: 2/18/12 D final: 11/12/12 Share S 50/50. Spend as much time as I can with SS & SD
anyway, you don't have to be alone. There are plenty of places that would welcome a helping hand at the holidays. Shelters, DV shelters, nursing homes, and all sorts of places. Around this time they need help and volunteers. Plus you may make some great GAL connections. Just a suggestion.