I agree with IB. And I also agree with you that when push comes to shove, there are two types of people in the world. the ones that sell you to the bad guys and the ones that don't.
it is about choice. We choose to stay and be honourable or cut and run. The hard path and the easy path. I have real trouble with people who talk about 'happiness' as a goal all of the time, as if this is what matters most. Don't get me wrong. it does matter, but not MOST. I want to be happy, and I deserve it, but not at the expense of other people. If I have to do hard things, then I will try and do them as gracefully as possible. I have always believed that real happiness comes from a life well lived. To me that does not include brutalizing your life partner when you leave.
Our life has been brutal, it is true, but it has strengthened us, broken our mould and set us free to move forward.
When you hurt other people, you hurt yourself more. not quite the same as Karma, but it often looks the same. My xh is a broken and damaged human being. He has lost everything that mattered to him in his life, including his self respect.
My life has been hard, and the first two hears were the hardest, no question. But it has also been a lot of fun, and filled with love. Not romantic love, but the love of friends and family. Which is pretty good. My xh has a stormy relationship [or not - I am never sure where it is at, and I no longer care] with a neurotic, unprincipled and rather stupid woman.
We are leaving the past gently behind, and moving forward into a new future. Your xh will go on in an endless cycle until he sorts imself out and stops blaming others. We are responsbile for ourselves, and our actions to ourselves and others.
