Just a small update. I have decided to take up mindfulness again. For those who don't know, mindfulness is basically the practice of centering your attention into the present moment. It is traditionally a Buddhist practice, but it has been building steam in the western world, especially now that many psychologists have been suggesting it as a successful method of emotional regulation. (Nearly all of the self-help books that I've read throughout my posts have suggested mindfulness as a way of improving one's life.)
I made it a regular thing at the end of last year. (Not the traditional methods of meditating like focusing on your breath for half an hour, just being in the present moment in my everyday life.) As goofy as such a simple method sounded, I began to see a lot of positive effects in a short span of time, including:
--being more attentive to what was going on around me. I felt "smarter" because I was picking up on things way more quickly. I also became a safer driver. Before, I would miss traffic signs, important turns, or sudden changes in traffic. --feeling way less stressed about things that used to really aggravate me. Obnoxious or nasty people just couldn't get under my skin anymore. Two of my supervisors at the time remarked that I was the calmest person on staff. --being more in tune with the needs and wants of others rather than focusing so much on "me, me, me." I began to enjoy having conversations with people because I was really listening to them (rather than only listening when something they said interested me). --finding joy in a lot of things that I found easy to take for granted when not in the moment.
My W noticed the results as well. She had always disliked that I was so "spacey" and off-in-my-head much of the time. After a month or so of mindfulness, she told me, "I had doubts before about you being a father, but now I know that my kids will be safe with you."
I fell off the wagon after my sitch came about, but now I'm back on. I'm looking forward to the positive effects that this will have. Life is so much easier when you're taking it moment by moment, and I'm just so tired of feeling disconnected from the world around me.
