I received a marriage settlement agreement from my WAW a few weeks ago for review. At the same time, I've been dealing with a short sale on our home while still searching for my next gig. In between packing up the house and the practical matters at hand, it's been a rough few weeks.
Re: the marriage settlement agreement, there are still several issues where my WAW and I disagree. Interestlingly she included spousal support, something she was vehmently against when I brought it up when she first moved out 8 months ago...hard to believe it's been that long. As Aeo and Val have recently experienced, I'm bracing for the inevitable as their is no signs of R. I've been GAL and moving forward, but the finality of the sitx is staring me in the face as I negotiate our separation. And with that comes an avalanche of emotions.
Our interaction is minimal at best, only when there are issues surrouding the D or the sale of the house. She let me know yesterday that she had issues with her car last Thursday (coolant light) and since it's old (10 years) and she no longer felt like getting it repaired, she went out and bought a new car this weekend. She's always wanted a Mini-Cooper so she did. Is that a metaphor or what?
Interestingly, tomorrow is our wedding anniversary. She needed to bring over the signed home sales listing agreement so we're having dinner together tomorrow. It'll be our first time out together since the separation. Is it unhealthy to have dinner with her? Ironically the hotel where we were married 5 years ago shutdown shortly thereafter for remodeling and just re-opened this month. Is it unwise to have dinner there? There is a strange symmetry I guess with the timing in light of our current sitx.
When we speak, it's evident to me that she's still holds onto what she needs to justify her actions. For instance, "I got a Mini-Cooper, but I know you were always eyeing an SUV for me"...translation I got the car I wanted."The realtor is coming by to take photos of the house, it's shame you never cleaned up the guest room"...translation you're still the same. And that is frustrating...she sees everything the same when it's not. I'm not sure what the dinner conversation will be, but I don't want to get into a debate with her. It's unfathomable to me how she fails to understand the stress I/we felt while trying to manage two mortgages (house and condo), both her doing. Since we're walking away from those obligations, it's nice that she has the discretionary income to buy a car on a whim. Sigh...still in the fog.
On the job front, several prospects are progressing nicely. I hope to have resolution before the Thanksgiving. One opp would have me heading to my third straight Olympic Games which would be a terrific. When this all solidifies, having this security will be huge in my GAL. Also in the back of my mind, what chance of R can I have when WAW sees my professional situation in flux. It's hard to be someone you couldn't love without that. I hate to be shallow, but it's a reality.
I'm curious to everyone's thoughts...good or bad idea to have dinner tomorrow night with my WAW on our wedding anniversary?
_______________________ M: 47; W: 39 M: 4.5 yrs; T: 18 years No children Separated: 01/19/11 Wife Served Papers: 02/1/11 Wife moved: 03/05/11 Responded: 04/14/11
