If you are committed to putting the tin hat on it, then go ahead, vent on her. If there is a tiny part of you that wants to reconcile, then BUTTON IT. Trying to get her to admit her guilt, apologise or anything else will give her another reason to justify her behaviour.
You must accept the advice of the veterans and be sweetness and light. Be her best friend and do not criticise, condemn nor complain. You have to forgive her or this will fester inside you forever, destroying any chance of a good relationship, should it repair.
