MZ, that's a long, boring read. Probably good if you have problems sleeping!
Dbing taught me a few things and left me with a few questions. This is one I think I really need to figure out.
HOW TO BE A CALM, CONFIDENT FAMILY LEADER?
Looking back this is what my W was needing - and more to the point it's what *I* need. I did a pretty good job early on, when the family situation is simple and stress levels were low. But when they got complicated my calm went out the window (hello anxiety) and the confidence eroded (weak and needy ain't attractive) and my W (who is ALL about leading and being in front) well, I think she really needed to know that I could absolutely be the leader if needed, but would choose to sit back until I was needed.
Much of my DBing was reading and learning about leadership - which I find fascinating. Read about business leadership, military leadership, family leadership (most of these book s are from a religous point of view, I found) Taoist principles resonated with me, and the philosphy of service leadership. But at my low point I wasn't in ANY condition to put this into practice.
Now I wonder - WHAT IS FAMILY LEADERSHIP, REALLY? AND HOW DOES IT WORK IN TODAY'S WORLD? Not that I want to lead all teh time, but I think it is important that my W knows I can when needed. Some days I think that while I do have some skills I just don't fit the typical "leader" model.
