Today I woke up a little different then the last 3 months, I realized today that I deserve more. I have spent the majority of my life happy and due to financial stress I have been negative for the last few years...only I can change that about me.
My H has some great reasons for leaving, but unless he wants to share them with me, I can only assume what they were..and honestly I think that is his problem
I feel somewhat empowered today, today I decide that I will detach, I think I have been for a while, but not enough for my h to really feel the impact of it. he knows or at least he thinks he knows that if he says the word I would reconcile in a heartbeat.
I still feel that he is the one, but I can not make him do anything, he is his own person, as am I. I like the perosn I am becoming, funny thing is, I am very familiar with her, she is me, take away the negative that I have had. I am proud of where I am going, and I am happy this happened..(well to a degree) I am sad my marriage may end, but I am happy that I am emerging a positive glass half full person again. this is who I am, this is how I want to raise my girls.
I will take each day with a smile, I will live life to the fullest, I will be thankful for all that I have been blessed with and I will continue to grow. I am truly stronger than this.
I know that I will have mountains to climb, but I will climb them, I will tackle each day with the humor it sometimes takes to get through... I love that I am getting a second chance with my life and I will not take it forgranted! I will not let this define my character, I write my rules and my story is only just evolving into the book I want it to be.
I will not say I dont have moments of sorrow, of fear, or even some regret, but I truly believe that this had to happen, for me to realize who I am. I love my h with every part of me, i thank him for his choice to leave, because had he not done it I probably still would be living in the fog and blaming every possible thing rather than looking in the mirror to see how maybe just maybe I was not who he married.
I may not end up with my h, but I will end up with me.. and for now, that is ok. heck for now that is even great!
m 41 h 44 d 17 (prev marriage) d 9 Never give up!!!!!
