What do I do next?

[Accuray]

Luv,

Let me save you the suspense -- you will NOT see that guilt. She won't show it to you. She will show you contempt and anger instead. She will tell you it's your fault, she will tell you that you pushed her to it.

She will resent you for trying to get the remorse, and that will drive her farther away. You THINK that confronting will take a load off your shoulders, but you are actually signing up for a bigger and heavier load.

You feel you are owed the guilt and remorse. You will come to the confrontation with those needs and expectations. When you don't get them, you will feel even worse! Now you'll feel that she hurt you, she knows it, and she doesn't care at all. That will make you feel less than hopeless. You are trying to feel better about yourself by seeing her feel badly. She won't give you that satisfaction. You need to feel better about yourself *regardless* of what she says, does, or doesn't say or do. You need to remove her from the equation of how you feel about yourself.

Your W knows what she has done, she feels guilty. It's hard for her to live with her actions because SHE KNOWS ITS WRONG. Take comfort in that, you can rest easy knowing that you've been faithful, she cannot.

If you MUST confront her, just tell her you know without blaming her or expecting an apology. Tell her what she did is human, that it happens, and that although it has hurt you, you hope she finds happiness. Then politely end the conversation. That would probably be a 180 for you, and will make it hard for her to be angrier at you. She must believe that you are sincere.

I am watching you drive off a cliff here, you're about to stomp on the gas pedal. Please hit the brakes!

Accuray